Friday, May 9

Grace unresolved

I thought I died.

It has already been more than six months now since my last post, and my bittersweet desire of adding another continued to stick up the tip of my fingertips. Until now, when I realized that I couldn't run out of reasons to share what has been new in my life, that I need to translate it to words.

It all seemed just a blur for everything happened so fast, but clarity may just be seen in a single word: GRACE.

1. Our thesis was finished.
2. The Software Development project was declared "Closed"
3. I graduated from college
4. I have a job. :)

Looking back at how things unfolded, I could never understand how someone like me who can't even reach the highest of all expectations could end up blessed and privileged upon the end of my five-year journey in college. In retrospect, I could never comprehend how I had my life changed as I entered the gates of the university and now that I am leaving it towards a new horizon, I just can't get enough of the limitless possibilities of the real world. Though I believe that it's a "jungle" as they say, yet even their bloodiest stories of struggle couldn't dampen my outlook on the positive vibes the rich possibilities could bring.

Now that I am about to embark on this new book, I do have a lot of expectations. Though they might be broken or fulfilled, I just know one thing, it's still my purpose to know Him and to make Him known.

Come, the water is great for a swim. 
Let's dive towards the future, Batch 2014! :)

Saturday, October 12

After eons of inactivity...

(c) Sheena Sy
As I go forth on this journey of thesis making, I usually am sidetracked by the many deceptions and distractions my mind often throws at me. Talking about a personal distraction! However, I am just reminded to always fix my eyes on the one who is constant, the One who only wants the best for me. May you be reminded of this beautiful truth as well! :)

Sunday, March 31

in time.

walking in the coast of San Joaquin, Iloilo
photo by my bro
I'm quite MIA these days! And it's been so long since I have posted about what I have been through, and to tell you, it's been hard.

I was caught up with a project we have in school which I was the project leader. There are just a lot of things I have discovered about myself which led me to think if I am indeed fit for the role. Nevertheless, I praise God for He allowed me to get into such position as I am just emerging in the career track. Oh, so that's how it is to be the "ultimately responsible person for the success and the failure of the team". I admit, I shed a lot of tears and blurted a lot of anxieties before the Lord. I got into a bunch of emotional up-downs and even thought about quitting but I believe I just might as well give up on my life if I do. I realized, life is all about decisions and keeping on.

Our project isn't done yet, and there would be a lot to face. I realized, I have nothing to cover myself with for the bloody journey but with my God and my Father's words backing me up and comforting me, I believe I've got everything I need. I do see that I might be that inefficient as a Project Manager, but I thank God for giving me this opportunity. While this project's just nearing it's end, I decided to just give it my best shot. I don't want regrets in the end.

My God is the God of perfect timings and order.
perfect timings, and order.

Friday, January 18

China's Golden Rules

I got into a research about China and I found out A LOT of interesting things about it. I have stumbled upon a blog of Miss Joan Pittman and I found this sort of rules she had compiled from her Chinese friends and I thought, this sort of information ought to be in my blog too! I also got a chuckle out of it. hahaha. But honestly, I think numbers 1 and 2 apply heavily. :)

I was going through some old files on my computer this evening and ran across this list that a Chinese friend gave me years and years ago of 12 so-called ‘golden rules’ of doing any kind of business in China.

I don’t know where he/she got it, and I can’t even remember who it was, but I had a good chuckle reading it. Perhaps you will too. And I’ve also been involved in enough negotiations to appreciate the ring of truth…

  1. Everything is possible.
  2. Nothing is easy.
  3. Western business logic does not apply.
  4. It is a fun project if there is no deadline.
  5. You must persist — things will come your way eventually.
  6. Patience is the essence of success.
  7. “You don’t know China” means they disagree.
  8. “New regulation” means they found a new way of avoiding something.
  9. “Internal regulation” means they are mad at you.
  10. “Basically no problem” means BiG problem.
  11. When you are optimistic, think about rule #2.
  12. When you are pessimistic, think about rule #1.

pasted from Ms. Pittman's blog. Go, check it out too. :)

Friday, January 4

two lines, one poem?

When I started to embark on this relationship with Jesus, I often hear this wise line during the most crucial of times. I know you might have read this, or heard this, and just today, I found out that it was actually a part of a poem. I researched on it and stumbled upon this site and I figured, I want to have a copy of it in my own blog too, so I did.

Here goes:

“Two little lines I heard one day,
Traveling along life’s busy way;
Bringing conviction to my heart,
And from my mind would not depart;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past,
Only what’s done for Christ will last.
Only one life, yes only one,
Soon will its fleeting hours be done;
Then, in ‘that day’ my Lord to meet,
And stand before His Judgement seat;
Only one life,’twill soon be past,
Only what’s done for Christ will last.
Only one life, the still small voice,
Gently pleads for a better choice
Bidding me selfish aims to leave,
And to God’s holy will to cleave;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past,
Only what’s done for Christ will last.
Only one life, a few brief years,
Each with its burdens, hopes, and fears;
Each with its clays I must fulfill,
living for self or in His will;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past,
Only what’s done for Christ will last.
When this bright world would tempt me sore,
When Satan would a victory score;
When self would seek to have its way,
Then help me Lord with joy to say;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past,
Only what’s done for Christ will last.
Give me Father, a purpose deep,
In joy or sorrow Thy word to keep;
Faithful and true what e’er the strife,
Pleasing Thee in my daily life;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past,
Only what’s done for Christ will last.
Oh let my love with fervor burn,
And from the world now let me turn;
Living for Thee, and Thee alone,
Bringing Thee pleasure on Thy throne;
Only one life, “twill soon be past,
Only what’s done for Christ will last.
Only one life, yes only one,
Now let me say,”Thy will be done”;
And when at last I’ll hear the call,
I know I’ll say “twas worth it all”;
Only one life,’twill soon be past,
Only what’s done for Christ will last. ”
— extra stanza —
Only one life, ’twill soon be past,
Only what’s done for Christ will last.
And when I am dying, how happy I’ll be,
If the lamp of my life has been burned out for Thee.”
C.T. Studd
And from this site of Ms. Skitt, I am reblogging this line:
C.T. Studd wrote a poem after hearing the same two phrases.  A native of England, he attended university and was an elite Cricket player.  However, he realized how short life can be when his brother became seriously ill.   He understood that the sport and the fame that came with it paled in light of eternity.    God worked in his life to be a witness for Christ through Dwight L. Moody meetings.  C.T. met with missionary Hudson Taylor, founder of China Inland Mission, spoke at evangelistic meetings at universities in England and Scotland and later began his missionary journey sailing to China.  His motto was: "If Jesus Christ is God and died for me, then no sacrifice can be too great for me to make for Him."
Indeed, I am just reminded that this world is temporary. Nothing will ever be the same, and nothing will last forever. Moreover, things supposedly done for the Savior has no purpose if you have no relationship with Him. Therefore, for it to count, get to know the Savior first. You may do so here.

Let the love loose.
Ciao! :)

Tuesday, January 1

new year, you say?

Dear God, 

 How did you know I needed the courage to step up to what you have been calling me for? Thank you for everything you have allowed me to learn.

Thank you for the moments you have made me experience which I wasn't even able to imagine possible. The hurts I had were nothing compared to the glory to be revealed in You. Every bit of uncertainty I had was stilled in Your promises, and every bit of expectation was met more than what it should be.

Thank you for the people you have allowed me to meet, to know deeper, to cherish and to love. This 2012, I was brought into a higher level of experiencing you, and I believe, this new year, it's even more. I am looking forward to how I'd be getting out of the circles of comfort I'm in and strive to look for You in places unknown to me.

God, thank you for you are committed into making me the kind of branch You want me to be. Whatever I'd be experiencing this year, I thank you because You said in Your word that everything works for a purpose for those who love you.

For every tear I had shed, every laughter I shared, every remark I expressed, all were of purpose. My heart is yearning for your glory, Father. Fill the pages of my life with Your presence.

Jonah :) 

I thank you for this blog of which you have led me to have this 2012. Thank you for those who have been here, reading and experiencing what I have been through with You. May they continue to join me in reliving the ways of how you have revealed Yourself.

And to you, dear reader, thank You for simply being here. :)

before I cross towards 2013, pose danay :)
(c) Mariel Abinsay

Saturday, December 29

She can't read this...

It was more than 24 hours ago when I knew she's gone. 

She was a sister, a friend, a confidante, an accountability partner. I never thought things like these could happen to sweet people like her, but then, it was just sobering-- death does not pick favorites. It happens to everyone, to a bad or good person, to an undeserving or deserving one. Nobody's exempted.

I first met her when I was in my first year in college. I cannot remember exactly how, but I always recalled her then as someone active in co-curricular activities. She's friendly, a good speaker, an approachable woman, a cheery face in the college of engineering-- an upperclassman worth emulating. We were together in Engineering Chorale, and later, became friends. She was a lady whose encouragement and cheer helps a student to get along in between the pains of life. I enjoyed talking to her, her cheery tone of happiness in sharing what God had been teaching her in the passing days, even the kilig as we talk about a certain crush of hers.

What really became significant for me were the words of wisdom she would effortly message me in facebook about being courageous and brave as I take big leaps of faith to pass my subject during the last semester in my third year. She would check up on me, and never doubt to give me her time as we talk almost about anything. When she went to Manila to review for her exam, it always would flatter me to see her taking the time to send me messages asking about how I am, here in Iloilo despite her busyness. She would often share that it's hard work to be in constant review yet she is getting on it and is contented and satisfied, knowing that God is with her through it. When she wasn't able to pass the exam, she texted me about it and there was no hint of hate in her words. All that she could say was that she is joyful and she rests in the promise of the Lord that there is always a purpose.

I admired her. Always have. The greatness of a person is not always seen in the success of her achievements. She was a person who had her own share of failures, but what I saw was a woman who rested in the sovereignty of her God. She is great for she acknowledged that who she is was never out of what she can do, but what God would be doing through her. She shared her life, she spent it despite the fact that others may not reciprocate it, but she did, she still loved.

And yet, I may still be in wee bit of a shock, but I understand, everything's for a purpose. I may not see her messages in my inbox again, her dimple smiles, someone who'll tease me into calling Katrina, no sister to be teasing about a crush anymore, and one less friend to confide in about the stresses in college, but well, I need to move on.

No one knows what happens at the next second, yet what is sure is that everything is in the hands of the most Sovereign One. I am comforted that despite the sadness this has caused for those whom she had left here on this earth, where she is right now ought to put peace in our hearts. For right now, she is with the Father, walking hand in hand with Jesus, as how she had always been here on Earth-- in a relationship with Him. Because she had been in a relationship with Him by accepting Him in her life when she was alive through faith and trust in Jesus, that's where I rest my peace. Nang Kinna Esther Leysa is with Jesus and is enjoying eternal life with the Creator.

Her life on earth might be over, and with all the hearts she has touched when she was here, God's glory been revealed. And as Paul says, there would be a crown of righteousness for her who longed  for His appearing.

It's not goodbye, but rather, TTYL nang Kinna.
God's glory be.


"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race,
I have kept the faith."
2 Timothy 4:7